Reply to Racial Bias in Nanny Share Arrangements

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a nanny share arrangment fall apart. You might be better off. I did my search while expecting too.  Maybe you are too late?[/quote]

OP again- last response before I go offline for the morning. 😂

Sorry to hear that. We started three months before the end of my mat leave which I thought was plenty of time, so this is sobering to hear. At this point we are toying with starting with our own nanny and just seeing if we can still try to find a share family down the line. We’ll see!

[/quote]

You are quoting me so I'll elaborate. With first, we had a share. We found each other and nanny before either of the boys were born so it might actually be too late. That said, if you get your own, I want you to feel good about the excessive expense.

Our share family was paying cash and I was paying via payroll service so although we both paid the same salery, nanny got more cash from them. So she demanded that I raise her pay to equal theirs. Which is weird, right?

I said no and she quit our half of the share. Months later, I saw nanny share mom visibly expecting so it was basic extortion. When I was expecting my second, we didn't get into a center so I had to get my own and I started by asking people at my older kid's preschool if their former nannies were looking for work. I interviewed almost 10 women, I think and found my woman.

She was a full-time nanny for 3 years and then part time for a couple and we used her as a baby sitter until covid. She's coming over for Christmas!

Upsides of your own nanny. You can ask for things like kid laundry, kid food prep for dinner (like dicing up fruits and vegs), organizing kid's room and stuff, very light grocery shopping. Mine would bring a sweet potato for example if that what she wanted to feed my child, or milk if she suspected I was out.

You both work and mine would work when my older was ill. She was an internationally experienced nanny who DIDN'T GET sick. Ever. One embarrassing day, she took care of me, but we won't go into details. (norovirus).

what else? You both work so work travel or both of us having an evening work commitment was never a problem.

My Golden Girl (who was in her 50s at time of hire) even started doing towels, sheets and kitchen laundry, unasked.

Having your own nanny is a luxury that you might be forced into and I hope this post helps you feel better about it.

Did you make it the end? I have a surprise for you. 
That cash-paying family? Got divorced. Dad was "hanging out with" the next door lady. Mom worked in office all day. Dad "worked from home" before covid and the next door lady was a SAH.  They got caught cheating and spouses split. Let that sink in. So one downside of not having a nanny-share is lack of drama, if you are into that sort of thing.

So cheat on taxes, cheat on your wife I guess.

Good luck![/quote]

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