Reply to division of labor chart? (not a chore chart, but everything).

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "division of labor chart? (not a chore chart, but everything). "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH most definitely has ADD, knows it and has sort of started treatment, but only the medication part which helps the focus at work, but he has not taken any of the steps for organization or read any of the books about the dynamics of ADD and relationships or done any of the suggested things to create stucture--and I am tired of asking him to do it.

We tried counseling, but he didnt get along with the counselor--basically got into arugments with the counselor, thought the counselor wsa taking 'my side' and preferred arguing with the counselor than working through our issues.  
Yesterday, I made a list of all the household and family chores and responsibilities--basically everything we do for the house or family. There were 36 things on it, ranging from stuff we do daily (breakfast dishes, sweep floors) to occasoinally (pay bills, do taxes, sort through closets). Of that list of 36 items, DH and I regularly split 5 of them, he does one almost exclusively (garbage), and I do the other 30. I sent it and said that things were imbalanced, and that I wanted to work with him to find a better balance and find things that he can take on that fit with his strengths and weaknesses; that I was increasingly angry and it was affecting our marriage, our kids and my health and that I didn't want this to kill the love we have for each other.

We'll see. [/quote]

Well done OP.  Sounds like a good starting point and a movement in the right direction.

My husband has ADD (so do two of my kids).  Chores charts and daily to do lists help tremendously.  They are non-verbal reminders so he doesn't feel lectured or nagged.  Coming up with a basket system (I have a basket for DH's wallet, keys, work badge - stuff he tends to empty off him as he walks through the door) helps with organization.  Takes time to adjust to the new routine but after a while an ADD person usually grasps the concepts when they see how much better their lives are with the structure.  You can also ask your DH to consider talking to his doctor about adjusting his meds.   He might need a higher dosage or longer lasting (slow release type) meds.  My husband has had good luck with a slow release form of Concerta.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics