Reply to if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person

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Reply to "if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person - what would you do in this situation"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]" I could see him doing anything from fighting for 50% (even though he travels 80% and plays no dependable day to day role in their lives now) to walking away from them and basically never seeing them again - both would be horrible for the kids."

So he's barely in the kids life now. He does almost nothing with them, for them, or with you, or for you. [b]How would he get 50% if he travels 80% of the time?[/b] It would be better for the kids if he saw them every other weekend but was ENGAGED, alert, happy, caring. [/quote]

Because he’s a man, presumably in the DC area. If he asks for 50/50, he will get it. Regardless of his 80% travel. OP will likely get ROFR, so she will have the option to take the kids more.

And once he sees what child support looks like, he will undoubtedly ask for 50/50.

Or he will change jobs for something lower-paying, which will change the child support calculation.

But 80% travel is being gone four days every week. Of course he can’t commit to a Monday pick up, or taking out the trash every time it needs to be taken out, because he’s not there, Monday through Thursday night.

Real talk, OP, from someone who has been there: suck it up and stay married until the kids grow up. Being a married single mom is far easier than being divorced, and still having to deal with his crap, plus potentially his big feelings about you leaving him, and also worse off financially.

Go to therapy and work on detaching emotionally. Outsource the things you can. Then find places to be on the days he is home (take up a hobby, train for a marathon, or get a volunteer job). He will naturally need to step up parenting on those days.

Make Saturday dinner his responsibility, and if he doesn’t make anything, you order in or go out. It’s not the end of the world.

Lock down your birth control, and re-evaluate things when your youngest is 16 or 17. At that age, they are more independent so a lot of the coparenting BS goes away.

And in case you’re having an affair and looking for a plausible escape route: break off the affair now. I assure you, your AP is not worth it.[/quote]

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