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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you sit down and eat as a family? That helps my picky eater a great deal. I will make a meal I know he will eat - generally pasta - and add broccoli or peas or another vegetable on the side. He won't eat it right away but seeing the rest of the family eat it he usually gives a try.

It's a lot easier to give in to pickiness and short order chef and have your kids eat totally different food but this doesn't help. My sister does this for her kids and after we go on vacations together where we do it too, it takes weeks to get my kids eating veggies again.  [/quote]

I’m sorry but what you describe with your kid is not picky eating. Not the way both my kids are or OPs kid probably is. My kids will never, not once, deign to try a food on their plate that the rest of the family is eating happily, even if that food is on their plate three times a week for 5 years.

OP to answer your question, I serve meals family style and make sure there is something (plain rice, plain pasta, certain raw veggies, etc in my case) so that if we are eating burrito bowls, one will have rice and bell pepper and the other will have tortilla chips and bell pepper. Then they usually make themselves a PB sandwich later. I can’t bring myself to care anymore at this point. They won’t even eat pizza. One of them, age 8, has never even tried it, despite it being offered at every birthday party , every play date at dinner time, and seeing all his friends exclaim “Yes!!!!! A pizza party!!!!!!” when it’s pizza night. He licked a slice once when I basically forced him to at age 5 but that was it. [/quote]

There’s a wide range of what is considered picky and it’s very subjective.  My kids had a few years where they turned down a LOT of foods, but probably would have eaten more than your pizza eater. I do think that some parents give up too quickly  and cave in because they’re not willing to be consistent. Not saying that’s you or even op, I’m basing this on real people I know who frequently announces in front of their kid how picky he/she is instead of adopting a growth mindset. 
I believe the healthy food endeavor is worth the effort for short and long term health. 
[/quote]

I want to step in and defend the people who "announce" their kid is picky in front of their kid and don't have what you consider a "growth mindset."

It doesn't sound like you ever had a true picky eater. This is a kid who turns down almost all foods, not just a lot of foods you'd like them to eat. My kid has ARFID and only eats about 12 foods.

When I "announce" that she's a picky eater, it is because we are in a setting where someone else is trying to encourage her to eat a food I know she won't eat and I want to short-circuit this behavior. Or occasionally it's said to spare feelings of people who are obviously offended (or mad) that our kid won't eat a food that they think everyone eats. Like the PP, our kid won't eat pizza. Also won't eat: spaghetti, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese.

We have a growth mindset about her eating but we are operating on a level you cannot even fathom in terms of what growth looks like. To you, growth is a kid being willing to taste a bite of broccoli after refusing it for a year. Great, I'm happy for you. For me it's my kid adding a 13th food to her list of acceptable foods even if that food is French fries because as a practical matter even adding an unhealthy food to the list of allowed foods can help her become a more functional person in society (eating French fries means she can order off the menu at a lot of restaurants and get actual calories at that meal).

If you've never had an extreme picky eater, it's easy to judge how parents handle it because you misunderstand the mountain they are climbing. I once had a parent chide me for sending the same (healthy, acceptable) meal with my child to lunch every day because, after all, "if you want to combat pickiness, you need to incorporate variety." She didn't get that for my kid, finding a type of yogurt she will eat daily, when she won't eat meat and I can't send nuts or nut butters and most other protein sources she will eat don't pack well, is a massive victory. We work on variety at home where we can control other variables. I just want my kid to eat lunch.[/quote]

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