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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m married to an addict (alcohol/drugs). The only reason he stopped is I caught him one time and made it EXTREMELY clear there would be no second time. I would not monitor him, I would not play mommy, but if it happened again we were done, and I would absolutely not help him deal with any consequences (such as driving him if he got a DUI and lost his license).

When we got married we signed a prenup and keep finances separate so if he does relapse, I can leave quickly and there’s little mess.

That’s really the only way to handle addicts. You can’t help them by finding meetings, encouraging them to go, etc. They really only understand consequences, and the consequences have to be severe. The pain of using had to be stronger than the pain of not using.

Sometime the most caring, loving thing you can do for a person is let them be an adult and run their own lives.

[/quote]
Thank you for your perspective. I realize that me being supportive and caring was not going to do anything and that in a way I was enabling him by still being there no matter what. He has to come to the realization that he needs to make a change for himself and on his own, by hitting rock bottom. [/quote]

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