Reply to TLDR: DH doesn’t think I’m physically affectionate enough

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Reply to "TLDR: DH doesn’t think I’m physically affectionate enough"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Be the bigger person for now, and call in the debt later.

Tell him at 8, 9pm that he needs to get ready for bed by 10pm. At 10, remind him that he chose to ignore you all evening and you are going to SLEEP now, not cuddle. 
Next day, remind him to fix his evening schedule.

The key is to put the words in his head before he goes to bed, so he already knows it's his fault that he failed at intimacy that day.

Also make sure he has time and space to "take care of himself" and go to sleep without you sometimes. [/quote]

Ok here. See this is the thing though. We’ve had this issue in the past and I thought I solved it with the back/leg/foot massage. I do it every night for at least 15 min but sometimes it’ll go as long as an hour.

Then I go to sleep and he goes downstairs and usually goes to bed at 11/11:30.

Does the massage not count as physical affection??[/quote]

It counts but he wants to have sex. If you want to have sex but earlier, tell them that's what's on offer.
If he goes downstairs, he's done. He doesn't get a round 2 later.

If it's really just that he wants to cuddle to sleep and not have sex on these other days, same scheduling rules still apply.

What's so important "downstairs"? Why can't he go to bed and cuddle and sleep and wake up early and go downstairs then?

If you don't want to have more sex then you're already having, and he does, tell him he gets plenty as he can do the rest by himself on his own (no disrespect; it's healthy activity)

Why are you acting like a slave for this man? What is he doing to earn it? [/quote]

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