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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just be careful.  We had a neighbor whose mom wanted to move in with them.  She paid to have their garage renovated to meet her needs.  The neighbor took care of her for years.  When she passed, the siblings who did not take care of her, fought during probate or sued the neighbor.  The neighbor had to agree to 'pay back' the estate the money that was used to renovate their garage.  [/quote]

Horrible and happens more than you think.I have my own horror story.

I would do memory care. The revolving people in the home has so many pitfalls and it's more expensive. Let the sister know it's between 2 memory cares or she can take in mom.You don't want a sibling accusing you of taking money when upend your life to try to help the elder and the elder can turn on you with dementia induced paranoia and start making accusations. You'd' be surprised how family members fall for it too. Much easier to do memory care and visit and check on things. There are therapeutic lies to help get her there and help get her acclimated.

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Plus, as a PP pointed out, your lives will never be the same if she's in your home.  for your marriage or your kids.  How do you take a vacation if your care is not reliable---they fail to send someone at shift change/person calls out sick, and you are a 6 hour flight away?  What do you do then?

IMO, someone who is at the point of "wandering outside the home confused" belongs in a memory care facility.  For their safety.  Most are "locked in areas" so residents cannot simply escape (once again, for the resident's safety).  They will have safe outdoor spaces to use on nice days, they won't have access to stoves or things where a 1 min (the care giver needs to go pee) break where they can do something dangerous.

Not to mention, being around others has to help with the brain decline.  Being alone is not good for elderly people, let alone one with cognitive decline.  So just go directly to a facility, when you have the time to select the right place and get on a wait list for the next 2-3 months.

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