Reply to Are you more or less attractive in your head than in real life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s quite the opposite for me. My mom still tells me that I don’t know or appreciate my beauty. Friends tell me I’m a beautiful woman. I don’t dislike myself but the reality is that I’m invisible to men. [/quote]

The problem is that men as a group have to be stimulated in very specific ways to pay attention to women. This is not true individually but if you want to be a woman who gets a lot of attention from men you need certain features and to emphasize them a certain way.

I am slim with a small chest and a small butt, decent bone structure, nice eyes but thinn-ish lips, and I have to put effort into my hair for it to look good.

When I dress how I want with the amount of makeup I prefer and put the effort I want to put into my hair (close to none), men who don't know me don't pay attention to me at all. But if I wear fitted clothes that emphasize my thinness and how fit I am and then do generic "hot girl" hair and makeup (hair long and worn down, blown out and makeup that plays up my eyes plus actual lipstick to make my lips look fuller) then I get tons of attention from men. And I truly think this is true of like 80% of women. But to do it you have to tailor your appearance for the specific stuff that men as a group respond to and that can be time consuming, uncomfortable, and annoying.

I think like 5% or less of women just naturally look the way you have to look to get lots of male attention.

The good news is that if you are just looking for a mate, and not trying to win a beauty contest or become an actress or simply be considered the hottest woman in your social circle, it takes far less effort on appearance to attract a single man you are interested in.

Basically being the kind of woman men spin around to look at is not as great as people seem to think it is and just isn't worth the effort for the vast majority of us.[/quote]

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