Reply to adoptive families w/closed adoption: do you wonder if/when your DC will reunite with birthparents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a semi-open adoption in that everyone involved has each others' full names, other identifying information and we have all met, but by law in the state where the adoption took place the legal records are officially closed. By the birth mother's request there is no contact - my daughter is 10. I hope that my dd wants to find her birth mother and since we have met her already that we can be the ones to help open that door for her. I think it will help her answer a lot of questions. [/quote]

How would you handle contact since the birth mother has requested no contact?  It seems like that could be a sticky situation.[/quote]

Once she turns 18, the records become open. My plan is to try to put it off until then, but ultimately I need to let my daughter lead the process. It may come earlier, it may never come. I would want to visit a  family counselor before any contact was made if she were under age and at minimum will be getting some myself whenever she makes contact. If she is under age when she wants to make contact, because I have already met her birthmother,  I can initiate the contact, test the waters, and if there is no interest from her we can handle it on this end as a family. Of course I'm not so naive to think these plans of mine could not be turned upside down in an instant. [/quote]

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