Reply to getting 5 and 7 yo to listen without yelling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can whisper "go back to bed before I beat your @ss" and you can yell "go back to bed before I beat your @ss" and neither will matter if there is no consequence. If they get out of bed, you have to beat their butt. Now, I am not saying beat them.... it was an example but you have to give the consequence. All the morning stuff needs to be done the night before if possible or they do it before they eat. My kids backpacks are packed and around their chair before they sit down and eat at the table with that same chair. When they put their clothes on, they put their shoes on. [/quote]

The last minute stuff is putting their lunchboxes in their backpack (they're mainly made the night before but I do things like rewarm the chicken or add something that would get soggy the night before while they eat breakfast), get on their gear to walk to school (we live in chicago so outdoor shoes / coats etc), and  pick up anything they got out in their free time.

I agree on the consequence but haven't figured out one that works - very annoyingly (for this) the 7yo is pretty take it or leave it about both screen time and dessert [/quote]

Hi OP, I posted about doing things before breakfast and problem solving. I used to live in Chicago, so I get the outdoor shoes/coat thing more now. The lunch piece, if you are going to do warming up or anything like that then I would just put the lunch in yourself. My 6 year old is in charge of making his lunch (with support) so I'm not someone that is just like - "do it for them", but realistically don't set yourself up with that if it is making it harder. just heat it up and slide it in the backpack. Then the only thing you're left with is shoes and jackets that are ideally by the door. Is it that they don't want to stop playing and leave? I would do the problem solving here. it is a very specific time, have them come up with ideas that will help. A timer, listening to a story/podcast on the walk to school, etc.

For bedtime, I really would recommend sitting down with them on the weekend (I see your husband is gone all week, that is REALLY hard, no wonder you are tired and getting to the point of yelling. I do too and I have my husband around a lot). You've got to sit down in a time of low stress and try to become a team again. Morning and bedtime convos at separate times. This isn't working well for us, what is going on for you at nighttime, and share what is going on for you. Have them come up with solutions, you come up with solutions. And together you agree to something. For example they might say "I'm not tired when you put us to bed! that's why I come out!" Then try to get them to come up with ideas: potentials are, have a flashlight in bed with some books, have a sleep story or podcast to listen to when bedtime first starts etc. Then you come up with a plan together and they will be much more bought in.

We also still use the hatch for our 6 year old with the red and green lights. He knows we control it but it still helps him to be clear on when it is ok to just get out of bed for fun and when he is at least supposed to be in bed.[/quote]

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