Reply to What now? Public or small private after being kicked out

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Reply to "What now? Public or small private after being kicked out"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you need to examine several of your ideas here.

1) What makes you think there won't be kids with behavioral needs at the small private schools? If they're accepting your kid, that means they're in general accepting kids with behavioral needs. It's not like your kid is going to be the only one with behaviors and the other 9 kids are going to be typically behaved. That's not a thing.

2) He's not going to wake up. He's not able to control his behavior. I'm not expecting you to say any specifics, but it sounds like he's really impulsive, he doesn't perceive social cues, he's desperate for friends or at least attention, or it's something to do with anxiety or emotional reactiveness. I'm not sure. But getting kicked out of school isn't going to cure him of any of those things. He needs time to mature. He's probably less mature than his age-peers (common for ADHD) and waking up to how his actions affect his long-term plan requires maturity.

3) People are right to caution you about small privates. No, the other kids are not guaranteed to be understanding and close, especially of a new kid who behaves disruptively. 10 kids in the class, probably at least 3-4 are girls and girls that age are increasingly impatient with the lower maturity level and typical behavior of boys in general. So he's got like 5 potential friends, and they're already friends with each other-- this seems like a really low chance of success.

4) The other thing about small mainstream privates, the kind you're describing, is that they're really small schools and tend to run on a low budget. They might not have the staff or the training to meet his needs, even if they say they do. Also, why do these schools tend to be bigger for elementary than middle. Red flag-- it's because people are leaving! The people who stay tend to be those who feel their kid can't handle a larger setting. So you're going to be around other kids with this kind of needs.

5) Would the small privates even accept him? Maybe. Maybe if they're desperate for cash. But you're still sending him to a school that doesn't meet his academic needs (boredom=behavior), and doesn't prep him for high school, and they might counsel him out which will be really emotionally traumatic and will NOT cause him to "wake up". So you need to become knowledge about your public school option, because it might be your only option. I'm sorry, I know this is super hard, but that's the reality we parents live with sometimes.

It seems like overall, you don't have a schooling option that you're happy with, period. So maybe it's time to consider moving-- and maybe your current school would be content to have him stay if they knew you were moving.[/quote]

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