Reply to If you chose to stay after infidelity, what did the next few months look like?

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Reply to "If you chose to stay after infidelity, what did the next few months look like?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m two months out and have chosen to stay and work things out. He is in therapy and putting in the effort. I was initially devastated, but have made peace. I suppose I’m someone who believes this isn’t the worst thing that a marriage could suffer, but at the same time, I wonder if I’m in denial. (My therapist doesn’t think so, she thinks I’m just open minded.)

I had to make peace with it and while I wouldn’t say I have swept it under the rug, it’s not something I can pain shop and remind myself about daily. I chose to stay, I chose to work on trusting again, and he’s willingly doing his part.

So what now? It feels like this strange purgatory. What does moving on look like? When does your “new normal” actually become normal?[/quote]

Two months seems really early, for me it was like I would reconcile one aspect of the betrayal then another would occur to me, each one of these revelations would bring out every combination of negative emotion which also felt like purgatory.
I’d have a great day, then three miserable ones in a row, but it never felt like moving forward or moving into dissolving my marriage I was just kind of stuck.
I am surprised and happy for you that you were able to process this and have it not be a very big deal, maybe there wasn’t a lot of lying involved, that seems to be the thing that most of us in this situation have the biggest problem with, it’s not the act itself It’s the cover-up and lies that hurt us the most. [/quote]

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