Reply to When I try to build a closer relationship with sibling, he distances himself

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[quote=Anonymous]That sounds very painful, OP, particularly in the context of your child’s diagnosis. Your brother has made choices about your relationship, and he’s responsible for them. Whether his wife pressures him, whether it’s related to childhood, whether it’s something else or a combination, the buck stops with him.

I think these are your choices:
1. Learn to accept the relationship as is, without expectation of more support or visits

2. Talk to him directly. Tell him how much you are hurting and how much visits would mean to you. Things might get better, or he might withdraw more, or make promises and not keep them.

3. Put the brakes on yourself. Don’t cut him off, don’t say anything dramatic but stop putting in so much energy. Focus on people who are there for you.

I am so sorry about your son’s diagnosis. It’s natural that you want your brother to support you. Unfortunately, as you apparently learned at a young age, family doesn’t always give us what we need. It’s so important for you to rely on people who can give you what you need right now.[/quote]

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