Reply to People who spend decades living somewhere they don't love, how do you cope?

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[quote=Anonymous]Do you really absolutely have to stay? Can you think of a time even in the more distant future when you could leave? Perhaps even just as a trial run -- like you could commit that after your last kid graduates high school you'll rent out your house and go live on the West Coast for a year.

My DH and I did (and are still doing) something like this and it helps a lot -- it's easier to appreciate the stuff I like about this area when I don't feel like I'm stuck here forever. And as we get closer to the time when we committed to leave I find myself really digging in on the people and places here that I love and are really meaningful to me, and making memories before we leave.

It also really tests how much you REALLY want to leave. When we made this plan and shared it with a handful of family and close friends, I know a couple of them were skeptical we'd go through with it and figured we'd change our minds at the date neared. But we didn't and that was the biggest sign that it was the right decision. As much as I love the museums and certain hiking trails and traditions as well as all our great friends, the overall culture and cost of living as well as the weather are just not my cup of tea and it's time to move on. We've already started putting down roots in our new location (we've done several "trial runs" -- celebrating a few holidays there and doing extended vacation rentals to get to know neighborhoods) and it just feels right. But if our desire to leave had just been a passing phase, I think this process would have cured us of it for sure and then we'd be staying in DC with a newfound sense of appreciation.

So that's my advice: if you find yourself wishing often that you'd like to leave, start making some plans to leave even if they are 10 years in the future. As the date gets closer, your gut will tell you whether you're making the right choice or not. Plus it gives you lots of time to figure out where to go and to even try it out a bit. Maybe you'll fall in love with a new location as we did and every minute you spend there will make you more certain of the move, or maybe it will make you realize that you are better suited to where you currently live than you realized.[/quote]

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