Reply to Kids spaced 4-4.5 years apart

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[quote=Anonymous]My two boys are 5.5 years apart, and I've loved it. They are now 26 and 21. For us the pros have been:

--being able to spend lots of one-on- one time with each kid (DS1 alone until DS2 was born obviously, but also DS1 was in school already when DS2 was a baby/toddler, so DS2 got lots of attention during the day; different bedtimes meant time with DS1 in the evenings; DS2 got focused time in grades 8-12 when DS1 went to college).

--having only one tantrumming toddler/disgruntled teen at a time

--having fewer years when they were both at home and involved in activities and DH and I had to run them around constantly

-- only one college tuition at a time

-- almost no sibling rivalry

-- easing into the empty nest

My boys got along great for the most part and played together more than I would have expected. DS1 adored DS2 from the moment he arrived and generally enjoyed having him around. One DS1 went to college, they grew apart, but now that they are both young adults they've become a bit closer again. They are very different people, so we'll see what adulthood brings, but that would be true no matter what the age gap.

TBH I haven't fet like there were a lot of downsides, I think in part because I chose this spacing, so didn't have any rueful feelings about it. One downside was that it was unusual to find another family with similar spacing, so we didn't "fit" well with other families. And DH and I had to divide and conquer a bit more than other families maybe? But I don't know, we did quite a lot together as a family once DS2 reached age 5 or so.

Two more anecdotes: my closest friend is 4 years older than her sister and they have anyways been the best of friends. My DH is the youngest of 4, spread out over 10 years. As a kid, he was close with his next oldest sibling (3 years older) and barely knew his oldest sibling (10 years older). But now in late middle age, he is closest to his oldest sibling and least close to the one who is 3 years older. So the age gap really doesn't mean much IMO.[/quote]

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