Reply to Persistent issue with fights/threats

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That's a lot of escalation if it gets to the point where he's throwing around divorce. Sounds like you two have a problem finding compromises, so he basically tells you it's his way or the highway. What happens leading up to these total breakdowns in communication? Do you tell him how you feel? [/quote]

+1  The fact that OP says this is, her words, "persistent" and happens frequenly is very concerning. She seems to want to highlight that she thinks they're mostly happy, but I worry that she might be hoping to hear that his behavior is not that bad, or is fixable, or he won't really do it, etc. The repeated use of divorce as a threat is defined as a tactic of abuse but I think she's scared to use the big bad term "abuse" for this because it would force her to take some kind of action and speak up to him and call him out on the persistent threats.

OP, I'd love to hear that I'm wrong about all the above, and that you do recognize how emotionally and mentally abusive this behavior is...? No matter the subject of your arguments, his reactions are 1,000 percent out of line and abusive. Yes, the content of those frequent arguments needs to be worked on, pronto. But his apparently knee-jerk abusiveness in reacting to disagreements needs work  even faster. Please get yourself, solo, to a therapist, but since finding a therapist takes time, please call a domestic abuse hotline today and ask them if repeated, persistent threats like this are emotional abuse. They will say yes. [/quote]

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