Reply to Moving in Childhood Contributes to Depression More Than Poverty

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s. [/quote]

NP and it sounds like we had a similar childhood. My parents grew up poor and we moved a lot for more economic stability. FWIW they did manage to go from MC to UMC. But I went to 7 schools in between K-12 (many of them 4th grade onward).

It was so hard making friends and getting attached then leaving again. I felt like there was nothing connecting one time in my life to another. I tried so hard to fit in to my new environment that I sort of lost track of my actual identity (which is an issue for kids during puberty anyway, but amplified with multiple schools). I had to quit sports teams and eventually gave up on most extracurriculars. I ended up falling in with a crowd that did a lot of drinking and drugs because they took me in and I had no real sense of self. I was depressed and isolated at times and self harmed.

I’m fine now. I figured out my identity and values. I still love my parents and recognize they did what they thought was best. But I told DH I feel strongly about not moving once our kids hit middle school. The tween/teen years are bumpy enough without a bunch of upheaval. I think having ongoing community connections, friends who have known you since childhood, and belonging to sports teams can be stabilizing. [/quote]

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