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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Is marriage counseling worth it?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Many good comments above. Both people have to want to be married, at least on some level, for counseling to work — even if you feel quite disconnected at this moment. I felt it was important to see a male therapist to reach my DH and this really helped. Otherwise I knew he would feel ganged up on. I remember the moment when the counselor was able to get us both to articulate that we still loved one another even though we had grown apart through child-rearing and other issues. It was such a turning point for me because I felt so alone and unloved at that point. As a trained therapist myself, I knew about Gottman’s principles and could see what was happening to us, but it took a skillful 3rd party to help us reconnect, begin communicating better, and also break us out of bad patterns. It was expensive and time-consuming to make our appointments — and we even had to take a toddler with us — but I credit the experience for saving our marriage and helping me to understand that my husband still loved and cared about me even if he was no longer showing it. And much of this was related to how I was relating to him. Best wishes. If you have kids, it is always worth trying for a better, more loving partnership![/quote]
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