Reply to Young Adult kid to begin gender transition

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[quote=Anonymous]My child let us know about this at 19 (12 years ago). We were completely surprised. She went back and forth for several years and finally decided to transition. My husband and I left it alone because we did not understand it and I didn't support it but we didn't want to be cruel because we love her so we left it up to her to decide and figure out. I didn't go the route of going to PGLAF meetings or anything. I did talk about it with a therapist but she was not that helpful because I don't think people understand the sadness, grief and loss one feels; I just lived with that. When I finally went to PFLAG I couldn't really relate because it was as if no one had problems with it and maybe none of them had. Good for them but for me it was not easy. There is and should be nuance to the discussion; the parents are usually depicted as completely rejecting or completely accepting. For instance, their dead name is a name you chose for them and you didn't choose it to make their life miserable. It was sad for me when she gave it up.

Anyway, it was a journey for me but I saw how much happier she is as a woman and how much she blossomed. I helped her change her birth records, SSN, license and name. I am 100% okay with it though I worry about politics and the future for trans people. But my point is that even if you don't think you can, you can be okay with it even if it's hard at first. There comes a day where you realize they're the same person with the same personality. Some days I wish this wasn't my life but I love my daughter and my husband and I get along well with her.

One parent's story; they will all be unique.[/quote]

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