Reply to I cannot help but feel frustrated with friends who act so bent out of shape when they have to help their elderly parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Try doing it for 15+ years when there are extreme mental health issues, near constant verbal abuse and occasionally physical abuse. Not everyone spills the darker side of eldercare. [/quote]

I think most people can appreciate context and understand that obviously no one would not understand someone venting in extreme situations - an abusive parent you are now caring for, as example- [b]but I think it’s obvious to most intelligent people that this post isn’t about those types of situations[/b] [/quote]

Not at all.

I have a good relationship with my elderly mother *now*, because fatigue and the realization that I'm her only child has made her a lot more pleasant to be around. I'm not going around telling people how abusive she used to be, and how she destroyed her health with chain smoking, refusing to go to the doctor, and refusing to take the medication and physical therapy prescribed to her when she finally did go! But it certainly colors the way I treat her today. I will help her to a certain point, but I will certainly NOT give over my life to her needs.

I take care of my health, and I have a lot more respect for my children than she ever did. Maybe that will translate to an easier end of life. Or maybe it won't. But at least I won't have any regrets.

[/quote]

Why would you ever run around saying that? Odd [/quote]

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