Reply to Do visits to cognitively declining parents leave you physically exhausted?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote] All of you people are lucky that your parents can afford to live in a nursing home. Imagine if you had to care for them in your own home 24/7 for ten years[/quote]

On the one hand I’m grateful my mom can afford care. On the other hand she never worked her entire life, and spent a significant inheritance in a housekeeper and clothes while making me feel like having kids ruined her life because of the burden. That inheritance could have set up several generations and according to the trust was intended for me and my brother and our future kids. Now the remaining funds are spent on assisted living (soon memory care) plus companion care because my mother has never been able to do a thing for herself and expects me to drop everything to do it for her. Even though I work full time and have kids myself she expects me to come daily to take her shopping, find xyz, fold her laundry, take her to a variety of doctors for her ailments. She’s still mobile and I can’t imagine how much it will cost when she actually needs physical assistance and incontinence care. The emotional toll is worse though. Multiple calls a day telling me how miserable she is and how I ripped her away from everything (had to move her after she lost 200k and got into 3 accidents in 9 months) and how no one can understand the depths of her misery.

So yeah, at least she’s not in my home. We would probably kill each other.[/quote]

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