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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. My DH and I reached out after practice last Thursday and scheduled a call with the coach - we spoke with him today.

It’s hard to explain but our DD basically advanced 3 levels - her team last year was playing a league lower (moved up this year and they are getting crushed in their games) so her team (“premier”) is like two levels already. Then they have all their practices with the NPL team and scrimmages at practices are premier vs NPL so she’s basically defending against another level higher. They also mix players for games. (I’m not in DMV so feel okay sharing details.)

The coach basically said he forgets that she’s the only player who is new / has made that big jump and that he’s “hard on her” because he sees her potential to continue to progress rapidly and - because she progressed so much in the past - expects a lot. He said that what he would *like* her to see is that her team is more consistent in their execution of skills and has pointed out things on other practice fields / her old team as a point of comparison but said “I can see how I’m making this point the wrong way and how I’m being too hard on her.” We said we understand - given competitive games - if she gets less playing time and also that she is very receptive to actionable feedback but needs some positivity. He had a lot of positive things to say about her and noted if he didn’t feel happy about her dedication and ability he wouldn’t be playing her in the starting line-up. We asked him why he had her sit out at practice after a mistake and told her she didn’t belong on the team. He said that it was “I get it, you’re not quite at this caliber yet and don’t understand the drill. Why don’t you sit out and watch a few rounds and join when you better understand it.” We are skeptical and DD says none of this was communicated - it was just “you don’t belong on this team, go sit down” but we didn’t push it. The discussion was a starting point and we’ll see if things improve. The coach said he really appreciates having our DD on the team - especially demonstrating work ethic - and that he’s going to try to be a bit more mindful going forward that she’s the only new player (one other player is kind of new but has been on the team in the past, moved down, and is back). He said he would talk to her at the next practice about the reasons she DOES belong and why he selected her for the team. We’ll see…[/quote]

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