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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been estranged from my father for more than 25 years now. He was an alcoholic who had numerous extramarital affairs, gambling/spending issues, classic narcissist. I went no contact.

While to a less obvious degree, I am no realizing my mother is quite the narcissist herself and it is affecting my parenting with my own kids. She cuts me off because I refused to send money to her. Bad mouthed me to my friends (whom she is "friends" with on facebook) and even threatened to call employer.  It is so much harder to go no contact because then I am for all intents an "orphan". Anyone else on a similar scenario? [/quote]

Time for some major boundaries with mom. Do not allow her to see anything on Facebook. Calmly let her know this behavior is no acceptable and you will be taking a break. If it happens again then x, y. z. Spell out what is unacceptable: threats, insults, lies, harassment, etc. Calmly put her on notice.

My father passed away and my mother is like your mother. I keep very low, superficial contact and I put her in time out when any abusive behavior returns. I sent cards and exchange pleasantries. I will only see her in public with plenty of witnesses for brief periods of time. My mother has always had these tendencies, but with age they have gotten worse and the neurologist concluded it was mental health not dementia based on whatever tests he did. She can manage better on meds and with therapy, but she keeps cycling away from both and then she desperately needs a target for her rage and anxiety. My own therapist mentioned for some there can be an addiction with the anger. It's like she needs to have a storm of rage against someone to get her hit and calm down. I do recall when I took a break and she described unleashing on someone else she had this strange excitement and I had to tell her to save the recap for her therapist.[/quote]

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