Reply to Dealing with pushy/high-conflict parents going behind your back to spouse

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[quote=Anonymous]
I'm sorry OP, but you need to cut them off for a long while, and then keep them at arms' length. They are abusive and the situation is serious. This jumps out of the page.

You can continue to suffer and complain, or you can tell your parents (by email or text if you can't say it in person or by phone): "You have been abusive for many years. I can't take it anymore. This is the end until you come to your sense and treat us with respect". Given your description, I don't think this relationship is salvageable, but when they're old and diminished, they might crawl back and make nice, to try and get someone to care for them. You will then decide whether you want to help them or not.

It's hard for an adult who has been raised by controlling and abusive parents to understand how much freedom they have. You have so much freedom! You decide to end this cycle today. I'm sure your spouse would be happy to never have to deal with your parents again. Even if the rest of the family initially takes their side, because your parents are going to phone everyone to complain about what an ungrateful brat you are... you earn your own money, you socialize with the friends you pick, you can create your own family. You don't actually need to go to family gatherings and holidays if your parents are going to poison them.

You only have one life, OP. Don't be miserable.[/quote]

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