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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I so hear you, OP. That’s me right now.

It took many years of arguing and effort, but I pushed back on how DH took advantage of the flexibility that my backstopping gave him. No more last-minute departures where he leaves me with his unwashed laundry and a messy kitchen. No more leaving a day early because the flights are easier or give him more miles and he can squeeze in an extra but unnecessary meeting.

When he goes on a trip, unless it’s a true work emergency (rare), he gases up both cars, does the big grocery run for the entire week and puts everything away, empties his hamper, puts away all his headphones/paper mess/hoodies/man debris, and tidies the yard. I realized that the resentment of being left with his mess made it impossible to do 24/7 parenting while he was gone.

Also, I usually do all of the setup/chores for the next day (depending on when he leaves) ahead of time so I have time to watch part of a movie or read on night 1. That way I feel like I’ve gotten a tiny bit of something for myself before I get slammed by the hamster wheel of responsibility. 
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Oh my gosh I would love this. My husband is usually working extra before he travels writing up the presentation and doing his work that he would normally do during the time he’s gone so by the time he leaves I’m already behind on everything and a little resentment already plus he has usually left a mess. But when he’s traveling he often has a full day of meetings plus taking clients out to dinner so I don’t know that it’s totally fair to expect a movie or a night off when he’s away. Sadly :( for me it’s worth it for him to take the later flight or whatever to come back and not be a total disaster because I get really frustrated when he comes back and collapses and I feel like the maid service after being on my own for days![/quote]

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