Reply to Au Pair Parroting Racist/homophobic Comments

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had a white Au pair from South Africa, who made some inappropriate racist comments. In my case, it helped me to remember that she was very young (19) with very little education (just high school) and VERY little life experience. So I started a dialog with her and tried to educate her - or at least give her understanding of race relations in the US.

I would take the same approach here. Imagine she’s your daughter, and instead of reprimanding her out the gate, consider whether she is just purely ignorant, and if you can help her learn and grow. Or at the very least, by calling her out, she’ll learn that those comments aren’t welcome in your home. [/quote]
OP here.  Thank you PP.  I'm concerned that even calling out these comments won't stop them.  (We can't police an au pair all the time.)  It's also not that easy to essentially kick someone out of your house.  Omg, am I fu***d.[/quote]

It would be extremely easy for me to kick out a racist person from my house if they are spewing junk around my kids. The only reason you would be effed is if you have no spine to stand up to this. 
+1 to 8:12[/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for your thoughts, seriously.  But the problem is not my spine.  When I was working, I was a litigator and I got into argument with federal prosecutors on a regularly basis and I stood up to federal court of appeals judges without blinking.  The problem is having to go through the rigermoroo of having to find yet another au pair.  Still don't know what to do, hmmm.

BTW, I could care less about who is her boyfriend as long as his toxicity doesn't enter my house. [/quote]
OP we have been there and ended up dumping the au pair program after a truly horrible match that they pushed on us. I get that others are saying you can correct her and not allow him in the house, but I wouldn’t want my kids spending time alone w/ someone stupid enough to even be with someone like that. This has nothing to do with having compassion - it’s a business relationship and she’s not providing her end of what she should. Sure she may be doing the job but you can’t have your kids around someone who will even repeat garbage like that. [/quote]

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