Reply to My mom is dying. I am so lost.

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother passed away very suddenly a month ago. Lean on your husband, your community, ask a friend to set up a meal train or a carpool. Ask your older kids or friends to help. I was lucky that my community stepped in when I needed it most those first couple weeks. The sadness is still awful sometimes. I cry or am a shell going through the motions. Some days are easier and some are harder. Some days the distraction of work and the endless kid stuff is welcome. Some days it feels like an endless slog. Do what you have to do. It’s okay to grieve and be sad and not be fully present. In my experience dealing with this loss so far everyone is in such a hurry for you to suck it up and move on in our society and that’s not how life works. You go your whole life (if you’re lucky) with your mom on this planet and then one day they are gone. Through this loss I hope it’s made me more empathetic and more focused on what really matters. More human. It’s okay to be messy or not perfect right now. Life is changing and will change for you. I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing and just know there are others out there who know the feelings you’re having. In the first days and week when I lost her I focused on getting through each hour. That’s all I could do. One month in and I am making a list of joys to do each week so that I can find ways to cheer myself up each week while working, caring for kids, and dealing with the estate and burial and aftermath. And grieving.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.  [/quote]

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