Reply to Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?

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Reply to "Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It was traumatic. Not sounding like sexual abuse. It could absolutely feel like a violation. Guessing you were both pretty elevated emotionally at the time and that could be traumatic and stored as well. [/quote]

Agree with this. The labels aren’t as important as figuring out how to process what’s going on for you.

There’s two vats of trauma, the original trauma that led to the constipation, that you are too young to remember and is likely benign (you had a big scary poop once that hurt, and your two year old self decided never again) and which resulted in the resulting violating enemas when you were older.

You’re also angry at your mother, for those same two reasons. How could this person let you suffer? Why did she make you endure this pain as a child?

A good therapist can help you unpack this stuff and help you sort this stuff out so that you can truly heal. It will require forgiving your mom for both making the decisions she did then and also accepting that she may not ever understand how traumatic it was.

Personally, that’s last one is the toughest for me and my one healing journey. Accepting that the parent who causes me harm is never going to truly recognize their actions were harmful. Because, from her perspective, they weren’t. They were the advice that was given to her. So, it’s on me to take responsibility for my feelings and get the help I need independently of her. And holding on to the anger only inhibits my healing.

Good luck. [/quote]

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