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[quote=Anonymous]Not exactly the same, but we struggled with what to do for the holidays after my dad passed away, because we didn't want to do exactly the same meals we had done for years - because then it would really highlight that everything else was different, except that he wasn't there. At the same time, grief counselling tells you to celebrate in a way that feels right, not just pretend the holiday didn't happen. So, I get the whole emotional expectations versus execution thing. We're also a very small family. And it's true - it's mostly about reframing what your idea of 'special' is. It doesn't have to be massively complicated, nor homemade.

Another thing I would do is google/pinterest/instagram search (wherever you tend to find menu inspiration) for small family holidays - there are menus and plans specifically for this kind of thing.

Personally for us we switched from apps or Mexican on Christmas Eve (we like variety with these types of meals, and making 10 different apps or tamales plus empanadas plus enchiladas for a few people didn't make sense). Now, Christmas Eve is a made-ahead Ina pasta - her sausage with rigatoni and fennel. It's special and indulgent because it's delicious and a bit effortful but it makes well ahead. That plus salad and  storebought cannolis for dessert and Christmas Eve is done.

Christmas breakfast is a make-ahead croissant bacon breakfast bread pudding plus some fruit, etc. It's delicious but again - make ahead.

Christmas dinner we've mixed it up, but Ina's oven beef tenderloins are pretty low-intervention but certainly fancy - and the blue cheese sauce or bernaise or whatever is special. Or a roast duck (smaller but still special). One year we switched Thanksgiving to Cornish game hens.

As other people have pointed out, nothing wrong with going out or getting takeout for one of the meals either - I know a family whose Christmas Eve tradition is Chinese.

You've got this OP - it can be less work for you AND special. Maybe search Christmas menu threads on here too - every year there's a few of them and I've gotten great ideas from there in the past too. [/quote]

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