Reply to Stop commenting on my weight

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Stop commenting on my weight"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would love for people to comment on my weight.

At least they're paying attention, OP.[/quote]

OP might also need to take a step back and realize that her PSA is very her-specific and represents only a small minority of people, whereas most people (particularly women) definitely enjoy tasteful compliments about their appearance. And specifically in cases where a conscientious effort has been made to change habits (not an easy feat for anyone!) to lose weight and the effort has “paid off” in ways that the individual feels is noticeable—to NOT make a positive or encouraging comment would be akin to ignoring her or failing to “see” her or recognize her accomplishment.

On the one hand, I’m sorry for your discomfort, OP. But on the other, you must realize that your circumstance is out of the norm. And surely you aren’t suggesting that all of society adjust their social norms to accommodate your specific circumstance?

Oh wait…you probably ARE suggesting that. It’s why my children are asked to state their pronouns in a library book discussion meeting despite there literally being no need for this. [/quote]

I totally disagree with you. You are doing the thing OP is accusing others of -- assuming your feelings and experience are the "norm" and OP is a far outlier. It's not true.

Also I happen to think that even when people want the validation of others commenting on their weightloss it might not ultimately be a good thing. We have extremely unhealthy attitudes about weight and weightloss in our culture with a fixation on physical transformation and thinness and too little focus on actual health. People want to celebrate losing 20 lbs on a crash diet that they'll rebound from in six months because it's not sustainable whereas the person who diligently gets more healthy by shifting their diet towards healthier foods and becomes much more active is overlooked because they might dramatically drop three dress sizes (but their overall health and especially specific factors like heart health is likely much improved).

Also there is a happy medium here -- how about you can comment on weightloss when the person has already informed you they are trying to lose weight. If I know a friend has been focusing on exercise or diet and is actively trying to lose I don't think there's anything wrong with saying "hey I can really tell it's paying off." In the same way I would congratulate a friend on a pregnancy if I knew she was pregnant already. But I would not comment on the weightloss of someone I didn't know well enough to know the weightloss was a good thing just like I wouldn't tell some acquaintance "congratulations!" at the sight of what I think is a baby bump because I am not stupid.

That's all OP is really asking for. Don't assume someone's weightloss is good because sometimes it's not. Limit your congratulations and compliments to people you know well enough to know for sure the comments are appropriate.

Also this is why people join weight loss groups fyi. Or workout groups or whatever. If you really need encouragement and support for weight loss or getting healthy then it's a good idea to seek out people in the same boat and cheer each other on. Rather than expecting the world at large to tune into the fact that you need that support and risk putting their foot in their mouths to give it to you.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics