Reply to staying very close friends with an ex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. For additional context, I’m speaking about an ex GF, not necessarily an ex spouse. [/quote]

It doesn’t matter OP. And frankly, stop looking for a loophole to have it how you want it when you want it. Being an adult means making choices. [b]Having an ex that you can talk to about “issues you can’t talk to your girlfriend about” is going to bite you in the ass.[/b] Which is your choice, but you don’t have the right to waste your girlfriend’s time. [/quote]

The bold is extremely important, OP. If you are in a serious, committed relationship, that GF, partner, spouse, whatever you call her, should be the person with whom you are able to talk about anything in your life. If you cannot do that with your GF/wife/partner, but do it with someone else, that's a red flag to your partner that your intimacy as a couple is not as deep as she might expect and want it to be.

If that "someone else" you confide in is someone with whom you have sexual and romantic history -- then pouring your "issues" into her ear is definitely asking for serious trouble in your other relationship. The relationship that's supposed to be about utlimate trust and communication.

Of course, if you just want casual GFs for sex, but reserve your thoughts, feelings, troubles, opinions, "issues" etc. for the ex-GF best buddy, well, fine. But you won't turn any of those casual GFs into serious partners that way. [/quote]

Op here.  Thank you for the thoughtful response.  I wouldn't categorize it as confiding in.  We text about sports betting; we text about craft beer; and we text about golf.  That's about it.  My GF has no interest in any of those activities, and has shown no interest in learning them.  I'm fine with her lack of interest.  No reason we can't have separate hobbies.  Our thing is projects around the house, cooking together, and all of the other flirty gf/bf stuff.  Those are things I obviously don't talk to my ex about.    [/quote]

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