Reply to staying very close friends with an ex

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[quote=Anonymous]
While I applaud the maturity you're describing, OP, I also think that if either of you is seriously seeing someone, the right thing to do is to ensure that the signifcant other not only knows about the friendship but meets you/her. I would not, in your shoes, insist that you all socialize together and that your GF be buddies with your ex. And frankly, while I do believe men and women can be close, close friends, when they are romantic/sexual exes, that adds a layer of intimate history with which new partners likely will be uncomfortable--at best.

The issue is not whether women and men can be extremely close friends and stay friends; they can; I've seen it and experienced it.

The issue is exes who remain so present in each other's lives but will always have that intimate history, unlike with any other close friendship you have with a man or a woman who isn't an ex.

Try to picture how a GF could feel about the history there. Some won't care. Some will find it stays in their heads even if they aren't necessarily jealous. You could approach that is "Well, it's a you problem" if a GF has issues with it. But if you want that GF to feel completely comfortable and her true self in your relationship, you'd be putting her feelings first and weighing your priorities. I am not saying "you have to choose between them." But you might have to ramp back time and contact with your BFF ex. [i]Which should be natural anyway[/i], if you're focusing your time and energy on a serious romantic relationship. 
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