Reply to Onlies born to older parents- seems unfair now

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get what you're saying BUT there are so many posts on this forum about people complaining about their siblings who do nothing.   So it's great when you have a sibling who is involved.  It is probably more infuriating when you have a sibling who isn't.  [/quote]

You also see people complaining about siblings who are involved but want to do things their way. There are also a million ways for inequity to create conflict and resentment. Like you'll have one sibling who relied more heavily on the parents for help when the parents were young but then who feels "stuck" with elder care. When that sibling asks for help from others all these resentments about past inequities will come up ("mom was your free childcare for 10 years but now that she needs care you refuse" that kind of thing).

So there are lots of ways that siblings can make eldercare harder. I also think that when people are emotional they are more likely to take it out on family members replaying old patterns and you see this emerge over and over in adult siblings when parents get older and die. People express their grief by taking it out on each other. It can be avoided but you need everyone to be emotionally mature and evolved and that's rare -- usually there is at least one person who doesn't handle it well and ever one else has to accommodate that on top of caring for or grieving their parents.

In general the larger a family is the more complicated it is.[/quote]

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