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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dealing with eldercare is so hard, so I feel for you, OP. And I have a big family. I can't imagine as an only.

I will add that while this might not be the case without your aunt and uncle, years ago my DH asked my FIL's girlfriend to help after FIL's surgery since we weren't in town. (I get that this isn't an apples to apples analogy.) While she did it, she laid into my DH after the fact saying how it was presented to her as she had no option but to do it. My DH was totally in the wrong to assume that the longtime gf would be happy to care for FIL.

I wonder if there was some miscommunication with your relatives, as in they felt you assumed they would do it.

This isn't in anyway throwing shade, because all of this is hard and hugely emotional. Just wanted to throw that out there as food for thought.[/quote]

Op here- perhaps I am hugely naive and immature, but yes I assumed that my aunt and uncle who I have celebrated every holiday with from age 0-18 and who had me to their house many many weekends a year for my whole childhood would be willing to do minor labor to help me out during a very very stressful period. I have young children and live many hours away. They live in the neighborhood. I would do these things for my neighbors if they asked me, even though we are not family. Family cannot be asked to help each other or to be counted on when they say they will do something?

Lesson learned for sure, but seriously this is so upsetting and makes me want to go move to the woods alone (with my kids and DH of course)[/quote]

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