Reply to ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted

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Reply to "ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted"

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry. I know this is a hard place. But it might not be permanent. I have a son with mental health issues who went through a period like this and worse. He didn’t go to college until he was 21 and continued to live at home. But he pretty much acted as though I didn’t exist unless he needed something.

For me I was like that mom a PP described and you equated with the Giving Tree. I continued to do things unless asked to stop.

Anyway, eventually at around age 21, things changed. We now have a really nice relationship. He still lives at home - mental health issues are either slowing down development of skills to leave or maybe will result in him not being able to leave, which is a whole different issue. He’s nice to be around. He’s come back around to letting me help with things like medical issues, which really fell apart when I wasn’t allowed to help.

I guess I am writing to say that it’s too early to be resigned to not having a relationship or accepting that the adult relationship will be dissatisfying. But I get how you feel - I had a lot of dark years but he isn’t my only child and I’m pretty good at empty nesting which took away a lot of the sting.

One thing my spouse always reminds me with all my kids is that I have to act the way I want the relationship to be - basically don’t burn bridges.

I hope you find peace. [/quote]

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