Reply to ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted

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Reply to "ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read an old story a while ago, which pretty much said that the role of a mother is to be a stable figure. There was a picture of a mom making food on a kitchen table, and the kids would just pop in, grab something, and leave. There was no conversation. To me, sorry to say, you sound too needy. Let your kid be. If he contacts you in emergencies, you're fine, he's fine. Don't put your own emotional issues for him to solve. Don't send any long e-mails. It's not your role. Your role is to be there when needed and you have to figure out how to manage your own emotions. It's normal for teens/young adults not to want to be around parents, and it's highly likely that he senses your neediness. [/quote]

Thanks. I’m OP. Personally, I think that would be a horrible relationship. It reminds me of The Giving Tree. I do have needs. I thought I taught them that we all have needs. I agree that teenagers and young adults often forget this about their parents. I know I did, even though my mom and I were close. (We also fought a lot.)

I think a big part of what brought this on was suppressing my needs for several years while I got treated badly. And then a realization that I don’t have to do that anymore.

I can always be a convenience store for my kid, but man that is sad. And it is no real relationship.

Everyone is assuming I have a son. I have a daughter. [/quote]

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