Reply to Help my DD figure out what to say to her possibly racist frenemy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old is DD?

As a minority, I think the best way to address it is to correct it or ask a question.

Girl said the family eats Thai a lot. DD says, No, we don’t. Why would we? If The girl follows up with something equally presumptuous, DD says no, that’s a silly assumption, we eat lots of different things.

Girl says friend moved to China for dumplings. DD says, No he didn’t. That’s a silly reason to move.

Sometimes shutting down the nonsense is a simple matter of dispelling stereotypes. [/quote]

I agree with this. I would tell my child to offer factual statements.  It will help the bystanders learn facts and also that your daughter doesn't let stupidity pass by unchecked.

"I like Thai food, but I'm not Thai so we go to XXX restaurants more often."

"He spent the summer in China because his grandparents live there."

"That remark could hurt someone's feelings. Careful not to say stuff like that!"

As a privileged person, I have been asked some dumb questions too.

One I particularly remember from middle school in PA as a blonde girl who moved from CA.  Someone asked me "Everyone from California is blonde, right?"  To which I replied "Only in Sunkist soda ads".

I also had a high school friend, sitting in a class behind me, say out of nowhere: "You look like a miniature person!"  She was serious.  I made it into a running joke because I'm petite but only 2" shorter than an average US woman.  It was just a dumb thing she said.

What you want is for your daughter to be able to stick up for herself and others, but in a pleasant, reasonable way.

If the girl continues to make racial remarks, you as a parent may need to report it to a teacher.  The teacher should have policies and should notify the girl's parents.
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