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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have kids with XH. New DH has no kids. Discussing the possibility of a kid together… I’m over 40. I conceived my other kids 9+ years ago first try each time, carried full term, no miscarriages. What are the odds I am still fertile? Anyone else have a second round child?[/quote]

I had a baby with my second husband. One from first marriage. What you are describing is a hard idea for a lot of reasons. If your youngest kid is 9, that kid will be entering teen years when you have a new baby. In my experience, tween years are when you want to be the most present for your kids as they are dealing with a lot of development at that time. Having a new baby or being pregnant or otherwise focused on "the second round" as you call it would make it really hard for you to be the best parent you can be to the kids you already have. You are also old enough that pregnancy itself is going to be physically difficult in ways that your decade-ago pregnancies were not. My second baby was born when I was 35, at which point my older child was turning 8. Being pregnant at 35 was physically harder than the easy pregnancy I had 28.

Honestly, that you are calling it a "second round" is a red flag. Quit playing fantasy house with your new husband and parent the children you already have. [/quote]

How is this different than any other family with three ot more kids?[/quote]

Because full siblings are not half-siblings and two parents are not divorced parents with another stepparent thrown in the mix. Because the house is the house, there’s no custody schedule, there’s no split holidays, there’s no split family, there is just one family. What about that aren’t you getting? [/quote]

Again, how are those issues?  If you don’t like it don’t divorce.  [/quote]

NP. The kids don't have a choice. I think it's hard on the kids who have to go back and forth between parents while the new family's kid gets to have a "whole unit" family.

You sound defensive.[/quote]

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