Reply to Recently widowed, grieving spouse support advice

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. PPs have made some great suggestions. You might also consider subscriptions to Hello Fresh or something similar for meals 2-3x a week. It eliminates the mental drain of meal planning for some of your meals and the food is delivered to you. Recipes are easy to follow and your kids are old enough they can probably help make them. Just a thought to ease your burden slightly, especially as the school year is beginning.

My mom passed away after a long illness when I was young. I have three siblings and we were all in elementary school. Our community was a great support and my dad was terrific. A few things my dad did that I think are important.

-let your kids see you grieve. They need to see that you have good days and bad days. It’s ok to cry or be angry or frustrated in front of them. It’s ok to have a day where you just miss her and everything feels hard and you can tell them that. It gives them permission to cry in front of you. They might otherwise want to be strong for you and hide how they are feeling.

-talk about their mom. Talk about things she loved and memories of her with them when they were little. Things they remember and things they might not remember. My mom has been gone over 30 years and we still talk about her often. My kids know a lot about her.

-celebrate or at least acknowledge  milestones. Celebrate her birthday, celebrate your anniversary (the day your family started), acknowledge the day she died. Tell stories, do something she loved, eat birthday cake, have a special meal, whatever feels right to you.

Wishing you peace along this journey. 
[/quote]

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