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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend and I are from very different backgrounds. He is white and grew up poor in the inner city. he did not go to college and works a trade job that pays him decent money. I am black and grew up very well off in the suburbs. I highly educated and have a white collar career.

We have fun together and are both very well read and intelligent. I’m getting nervous as we get more serious that our differences may lead to problems down the line. I recently met his friends and they were honestly not the kind of people I would ever hang out with. He wants me to meet his family soon, and has mentioned that there are multiple alcoholics and drug addicts.

When it’s just the two of us we get along wonderfully. Do you think this can work?[/quote]

Only you can answer that question.

My mom who came from a highly educated big family ended up marrying my dad, a plumber, who (unknown to her for awhile) was an alcoholic with anger issues.  It got bad he ended up dying when I was an infant.

It wasn’t what he did for a living or his family that was the issue.  Plumbers are wonderful and made great money!  You’ll always have a job and you do something that makes a difference.  It was the alcoholism and the anger issues.  After he died we still had to go see his family.  I don’t speak to them anymore as an adult because they did not help my mom and made excuses for his awful behavior (there’s police reports/ court reports etc so it’s not just made up- I went looking for this information). Luckily I was told about alcoholism on that side and don’t drink or ever tried drugs for the above reasons.

I do think it can work, but I think it requires work on both sides and that your partner has a good support system to fall back on if needed. My dad’s friends had issues so he didnt really have role models.  The friends did not dissuade my dad from this bad behavior. His parents were also alcoholics and treated my mom horribly.  It’s not about how you grew up or what you do for a career more about the company you keep and how you act and treat others imho.

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