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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex has more to lose. Just not sure if it'll ease or create more tension in the process.[/quote]

Got it, you are desperate to find a way to stick it to him.   Go for it. Don’t worry if you hurt the kids. [/quote]

Jeff I’m not sure what has happened to DCUM. This used to be a place I could come to for advice. Now it’s full of mentally ill trolls. I’ve been using DCUM for 15 years and user experience seems to be drastically declining in quality.

Fwiw, my ex refused to budge in mediation even though I bent over backwards to compromise. He wanted to go to court even though we proposed a parent coordinator in mediation. We told him court would mean a CE or GAL, and that they would most likely recommend joint custody (ex has manipulated situation and lied to the point kids don’t want to cross him and I can’t get them on my time). Perhaps he didn’t understand that once it got to court it would no longer be his decision, but a judge’s. [/quote]

So, basically, you are bullying him by threatening him if he doesn't do what you want, you will get a GAL.  I can understand why he'd rather go to court than keep negotiating with you if you wish to call it that.  He is better off taking his chances with a judge depending on hwhat youa re offering.  If you could agree on things, you wouldn't need a mediator.  He doesn't feel your offer is fair.[/quote]

You have major issues wow.

The GAL is because exDH refuses joint custody. He only wants full. No compromise in mediation at all.[/quote]

What do you think the GAL will do?[/quote]

Recommend joint custody of course. There’s no reason not to, ex doesn’t want to pay child support so is attempting to have full and has repeatedly kept kids from me during my time with them. Fwiw ex was the one who wanted to go to court for some reason rather than settle in mediation. Delusional maybe? [/quote]

First, there is physical custody which is what I assume you mean here. Time with the kids. And then where is legal custody which is what is meant by ‘joint’. The right to make decisions together. I’m going to break this to you, OP, but joint custody will never ever work with you two. You are pushing for something that will be a disaster for your kids. You will be trapped with having to agree on arguably everything for your kids for years to come, and if you are not able to agree now, this won’t work.

One or the other of you needs to make final decisions for your kids. Even if you choose ‘zones’ where you decide one thing and he decides another.  If your lawyer is recommending you push for ‘joint custody’ it is because they are thrilled to sign up what they know will soon become a repeat customer.

I can only assume you and DH have some money, right? You are a prime target.

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