Reply to How to support teen who's always the initiator?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell her about my DD, who will be dying of boredom but will refuse to reach out to her friend. I have to reach out to the other mom, who is difficult to track down. (These are not little girls.)

Why? I think many kids prefer their phone to feeling vulnerable to a rejected invite. It sounds crazy, but it's true.

Also, there is some measure of "if we're not doing something amazing, it's not worth it to get together." [b]Everything has to be perfect, there has to be a A Plan, and enough time/energy/whatever. It's crazy to me. We used to hang out at our boarding school dorm, with nothing to do at all. [/b][/quote]
+100 to all of this.[/quote]

For my kids, who don’t initiate as much as I would like, even though they have good friends, it’s this. It is very frustrating. Time on their phone/screen is more interesting than making plans with a friend to do nothing. They are happy to join if someone invites them, but it’s rare that they initiate. And it’s not just them. High school DS can be online playing video games with a large group of kids on a Saturday night. Why don’t they get together instead of being at their own houses?  Apparently, fewer people can play that way.

I also see younger kids being selective about neighborhood friends in the same way. We used to hang out with anyone, because it was better than being bored at home. These kids have many more options. [/quote]

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