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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1.  Talk about it parent to kid.  Develop a strategy for responding in the moment.
2.  Coaches want her to play her role or position to the best of her ability and by doing that — have some fun.
3.  Teammates are, in many sports, supposed to “talk”.  This lets their teammates know where they are.  Whether it makes sense to use them at that moment depends on what options are available, at the moment, for your kid.

A big aspect of communication is to create diversions.  Example; we are playing basketball.  You are dribbling on a fast break down the center.  I cut to the left of the jkey and yell “ball”.  The defender moves left to try and be in a position to block a pass.  By doing that - cutting left, yell “ball” - I open the right side for you to drive the right side and get a layup.

I may have wanted the ball.  You have made the assessment that you driving the hoop is better.  Okay.  That’s the game.  Should you drive the hoop against 2 defenders in position?  Probably not.  Game assessment.  I might even say - “get me the ball.  You going 1 v 2 was stupid.”  Okay.  But game is still going.  Keep playing.  Keep learning.  Just because someone is calling for a ball, puck, or whatever does not make it correct to get it to them.  And, it can be a diversion.

It is all still a learning process.

[/quote]

This is Op and this is helpful because I think DD doesn’t know how to deal with in-game chatter, regardless of whether it’s pertinent to the game, selfish and self-promoting, or a diversion (pretty sure her team is not at the level of sophistication to be creating diversions!). I talked to her a lot about how that is 100% a normal part of field and ball sports and she’s going to have speak up. No one’s going to work around a silent teammate even if silence feels natural to her. We agreed that she will need to work to find an in-game voice that is authentic to her and her playing style and be brave enough to use it.

She’s a quiet kid and struggles to get out quick verbal retorts in situations like someone saying something mean at school, so of course adding the pressure of being in a game is getting her tongue-tied. She said “I’ll never be able to speak up in a game!”. I think that her excitement for the sport and drive to want to do well will eventually outweigh her tongue-tied feeling.

She’s worried that she’ll never get turns or be given the chance to be “good” if she doesn’t speak up.

Any thoughts on how to get her from where she is now to being someone who communicates during the game? [/quote]

As the parent of a kid who was quiet, shy, and skilled, first my sympathies.  DS had a kid on his first travel team who would yell instructions and even try to steal the ball from DS.  The kids mom was also terrible — she’s talk sh-t about DS during games.  Luckily for us, some knowledgeable parents shut her down (“actually, he’s the only one out there running the play correctly”), but it was tough.

Also, I agree with what PP said about it being OP to let kids know that they are making bad choices and being selfish.  Something like “Learn the play, Larla!  You’re supposed to be on the right.”

Finally, that sounds like a not great team.  DS switched to a team where the coach taught supportive team play (e.g. you don’t cheer for your teammates when you’re on the bench, you sit until you learn to cheer; you don’t cheer for the last guy finishing a drill, you run it again) and started playing much, much better.  I’d consider looking around. [/quote]

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