Reply to Anyone tried for some time to get over a spouse’s infidelity and you just couldn’t?

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[quote=Anonymous]For me it really comes down to . . .

I have faith in myself. Those of us who have been cheated on learn the unfortunate lesson that you can never protect yourself from everything that can go wrong in life. Loving other people, letting them in, means that we will be hurt. Hopefully for most of it isn't infidelity or abusive, but it will happen. But we keep loving anyway. (Maybe not our wayward spouses, but definitely people in general.)

So I don't live with the "what if" of him cheating again. If he does, I will figure it out, sooner or later. I will be OK. My happiness doesn't depend on him. If he's adding to my happiness, great, we can stay together. But if one day he isn't, then I know will be OK.

The rest of it, the trauma . . . healing is not a linear thing. You will feel healed some days and wonder where that happy person went the next. But through therapy, introspection, and self-care, you can heal a lot.

I find meditation very powerful. I focus on what I can control and letting go of the rest. I focus on compassion, for myself and others. I focus on gratitude. When I have big feelings to let out, I do EFT/tapping. Any kind of trauma isn't a one and done kind of thing; sometimes the old wound acts up and you need to tend to it anew. But with intention and time, you will consistently get better.[/quote]

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