Reply to Do you serve/eat right away at a house party or holiday?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I can commiserate. My family always has food ready, or apps with food pending (nothing very high class - usually BBQ type stuff or lasagna). And, they are often early/late afternoon meals - never 6pm or later. We have elderly family members who have to drive home in daylight.

MIL likes to do sit down 3-course meals. No elderly people to worry about. Apps are out when guests arrive, but she is very bad at planning and dinner is often served late. Luckily, DH, SIL, FIL and I have two approaches:
1) we take over the cooking to make sure it's ready on time
2) we feed the kids an early meal like PB&J or bread and a side that is ready, if it is clear that dinner will not be served on time.

The WORST is the holidays at MIL's best friends' house. Like you, you HAVE to arrive NO LATER THAN 3:30PM or you will be 'late'.  You eat apps and 'hang out' while the hostess cooks, often with help from MIL and her daughter. Dinner is literally 20 dishes and is served no earlier than 7:30pm, AND every time one dish will be 'forgotten' in the oven.

When we just had #1, we sucked it up. When we had #2, I set limits. We arrive at 3:30, then we plan to leave at 5:15 (kids eat at 5:30pm). If one kid is hanging tough, then DH stays with that kid while I leave with the younger kid. I have had to endure 'Oh why are you leaving???' and the slew of questions about why can't I put him to bed at their house, etc., but I smile and say 'sorry' and take off. I'm sorry, but kids under age 5 cannot endure a 2-hour meal from 7:30-9:30pm.

I have also learned to blatantly ask, 'When do you plan to serve the meal?'. For example, a 1pm bbq (smack in the middle of nap time) meant food would be served at 5pm. FIVE PM, four HOURS after guests were expected to arrive. And here I'd been planning to skip #2's nap and just leave at 4pm when he got loopy...good thing I'd asked. We arrived after naptime, stayed until dusk, and went home. It was SO much more fun than it would have been otherwise!!![/quote]
So you only stay for an hour and 45 minutes? 
Wow... we're Greek and my kids have always "endured" 7:30-9:30 dinner during the holidays. Its not like they're asking you to do it everyday.
Seriously, I think this is my SIL posting. If it is, she rolls in, drops her kids on anyone that will have them then proceeds to complain for an hour or two... finishes up the gripe session by loudly elaborating about her kid's "schedule" to anyone that will listen. She never lifts a finger to help the rest of us cook, serve or clean up.  Frankly, we all breathe a collective sigh of relief when she packs up her kid and goes home. [/quote]

PP here - so here's the deal with my 2yo's 'schedule'.  He is starving for dinner by 5:30. He will stuff his face constantly with appetizers, and then have no interest in eating dinner, but is cranky because he didn't eat enough (if you don't know what that's like, you probably don't have boys). Especially because he starts acting like a total hellion as soon as the clock ticks 7pm (bedtime) and we are literally surrounded by expensive china in this person's house. That means, I don't get to eat at a table set with fine china and champagne flutes, so what's the point of sticking around and suffering?  We have plenty of time to say hi, touch base with everyone, and leave. If they wanted me to stay longer, they'd start the meal earlier for those of us with kids, wouldn't they? But, they want an adult meal in the evening, and that is their prerogative - I simply drew my line based on my kids' behavior and my unwillingness to suffer for hours with cranky kids because they like their meal late. And no, I'm not 'dropping' my kids on anyone - no one is interested in babysitting nor would I expect them to.  My oldest kid can now hang till 9:30 now that he's 4, and he does - but again, we have 2 cars in case I need to take him with me earlier and DH can stay to hang with his family.  And I do not complain when I'm there, so no, I am not your SIL.

If you want to experience this first hand, take your SIL's kids off schedule and see what it's like. For those of us with kids who don't just sit quietly when they are tired, you clearly have NO idea how completely pointless it is to stick around for a quiet, sit-down evening dinner. The complaining, well...I can't condone that - she knows the deal ahead of time, doesn't she? :)[/quote]

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