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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are probably afforded a very comfortable life as a result of your husband being a partner at Big Law. lots of people work just as hard or harder and don't have a fraction to show for it as your husband. He can move inhouse and take a pay cut which I'm sure you don't want him to do.[/quote]

OP - Well sure he makes a lot of money but I don't think the stress is worth it.  I would be FINE with him leaving for an in house job. He seems to think most in house jobs doing what he does has the same amount of stress for less money so he might as well stay in big law.

I work full time as well, make 6 figures. On top of that I am the default parent 99% of the time to 3 young kids and keep our house together (bills, maintenance, laundry, food, etc). [/quote]

Well then this is a problem in your marriage and not with Big Law.

FWIW he absolutely could get a job in-house or working for an industry association or in government that would pay reasonably well (not as much as Big Law) and also have much higher quality of life. Also some law firm specialties have tougher work-life issues than others so there are issues there as well. Tax, L&E in some subspecialties, certain IP work, business advisory, and a host of other legal specialties tend to have better quality of life than litigation or deals work. People tend to default to litigation and transactions because they are usually the largest departments in corporate firms and require the least amount of self-direction in terms of career.

If he wants to stay in Big Law then I think you need to start using that partnership income to hire meaningful help to make your life easier. Or if you don't like your job consider quitting or going part-time. Accept he's not going to change jobs and his job isn't going to get more conducive to family life.

You should also take advantage of his network at work to ask other partners and their spouses for recommendations on this stuff. You don't have to reinvent the wheel and you aren't the first Big Law family to have this issue. I guarantee there are families at his firm who have great recs for finding housekeepers and household managers, outsourcing vacation and activitiy planning, etc. Also: are you taking advantage of all the perks and services his firm offers -- stuff like childcare assistance and corporate deals on technology and services. I would lean in on that. Firms often do a lot of that to sweeten the deal because they know that it's hard to work at these places and balance family life. See if his firm offers any perks that might make it easier. And if they don't maybe point out to him that the firm could do more -- firms often ask their partnership about work-life issues and strategies to increase attorney attention and attract better talent. Tell him what would make the firm more attractive for spouses and see if he'll suggest it when they survey the partnershp or if you serves on any committees that might address these issues. The issue of culture and work-life balance (and being family friendly) is actually a pretty hot topic at most Big Law firms and you could actually influence his firm if you went about it the right way.[/quote]

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