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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are supposed to develop feelings for your therapist.  It's part of the process.  Google "transference."  If you can, tell your therapist about what you are feeling so you can explore it.[/quote]

A serious crush is actually not “part of the process” - it’s better thought of as a potential negative side effect. I’ve done a lot of therapy and had an extreme crush on one therapist who was, no surprise, attractive and fairly close to me in age. The crush in no way helped me or the therapy, even though the therapist handled it totally correctly.

“Transference” is only really useful when it’s much lower caliber, like feeling temporarily hurt if your therapist stumbles over words and says the wrong thing, or cancels an appointment, or pushes you to talk about something you don’t want to talk about, or says something you disagree with. It’s also only really useful as part of therapy if your actual mental health issue beinf is interpersonal. Which a lot of times it isn’t - if I show up with extreme anxiety, the therapy is about how I relate to anxiety, not my attachment needs as made visible by transference or whatever.

The exception here is probably therapy for borderline personality. In that case it’s pretty much guaranteed that the way the client relates to the therapist is going to be part of the therapy and a way to practice using therapeutic tools and gain insight. [/quote]

OP here.  Well, I have borderline personality and my therapist specializes in that, so he’s probably familiar with this.  I hope it’s okay.  I hope he doesn’t know.  I hope he’s not mad at me or disgusted with me.

[/quote]

PP here. Then you should definitely discuss it with him! [/quote]

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