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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know.  Maybe it's better than her having favorites and not being transparent about it?  My parents played favorites in mean ways and then gaslit us about it, pretending it was all in our head.

Finally, my senior year of highschool I had a big fight with my father and my mom blurted out that he'd never wanted me and resented me existing. She then told a bunch of stories of him treating me poorly as an infant.  He actually admitted it.  It ended up being such a relief that I didn't have to keep wondering why I wasn't loved like my siblings and seeking his approval.  If he didn't love me even as an infant when I couldn't have done anything wrong, then it was a problem with him and not with me.  It still hurts that I don't have a father who loves me, but he can't hurt me anymore.  He's nothing to me but someone I know.

My mother also plays favorites, but in more subtle ways.  That's been harder to digest and still hurts a lot.  So much manipulation.

I'd definitely help your child work through this, letting them know it's a problem with Grandma and not them.  Then I'd reduce contact and help them build loving relationships with other family members.  They'll never be a favorite and it's not worth the pain of continuing anything but a cursory relationship with her.[/quote]

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