Reply to Contributing to kid life events fairly

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents paid for both of our college educations, though my siblings was less $ due to a scholarship. They have not given us anything else other then paying for my wedding as is traditional. [b]They are very aware of being even, which works against because because my sibling is a multi millionaire and I stayed home and worked PT to raise my kids.[/b] They don’t give anything really to the grandkids other than normal presents and they did $500 per kid on HS graduation.

I personally will consider the circumstances before holding to such a strict evenness focus.[/quote]

Why does this work against you? Do you think they would give you more if your sibling also had need?

We are your sibling. My SIL could have written your post. The reality is that my ILs have a bias against her life choices, feeling she’s a bit lazy. She wouldn’t get more money even if we had the same situation.

Frankly, we’re glad SIL isn’t able to get handouts from ILs, because she discounts the many years of sacrifice involved in achieving what we have. I have literally worked every weekend since I’ve been 16 years old. We all make choices. [/quote]

Because unlike your SIL, I am an extremely hard worker who has a solid career at this point and makes double what my DH does, however I, unknowingly, married a man with a significant mental health disorder which at this point has slowed his career growth to a stop (or tiny crawl). I'm just thankful he HAS a job, any job. My mother has actually said to me, "I wish I could help you more but I can't because your father is fixated on keeping things even", and clearly my brother does not need anything and never will.    I'm doing it, almost have my kids through college, have a great house in a wonderful area and a small 401k that will grow once the kids finish school, but there were times when it looked scary and it would have been nice to know they had my back. One such time was when my DH quit his job in a huff of anger and was unemployed for 4 months.  So like I said, I will be more aware of the circumstances for my own kids, and offer help when it's needed, no matter how "fair" it is. That being said, both of my kids are doers and want to be successful, so they will not be mooching off me, and they wouldn't want to anyway.[/quote]

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