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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My FIL earmarked $250k for “long term care” about 5 years ago, age 70.

He asked if we wanted or needed anything before he locked this cash away in some sort of bank account. We declined.

Now MIL got a dementia diagnosis and there’s no plan in place, other than the saved money. They are still in their large 4 BR, multi-level home, packed quite literally to the rafters, 4 cars and a little-used vacation condo 300 miles away.

I’m not swooping in to help someone who refuses to help himself and fails to plan.[/quote]

How does your spouse, the child of these folks, feel about this?[/quote]

He doesn’t want to hear my concerns or ideas even though I’ve dealt with moving/visiting/aging/health/estate issues with two grandparents and my own parents. This is a common phenomenon with the adult child dismissive of a spouse’s expertise or experience. Also tons of denial and delusion all around.

FIL has always been a poor planner and a die-hard DIY’er to a fault. Intensely private and cheap.

[/quote]

I should clarify that I have my own inheritance that I will not be spending on my ILs.[/quote]

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